I can no longer measure how much time is left in this pregnancy with months.. we are down to weeks now. Which is both a little scary and very exciting.
I had another doctor's appointment earlier this week. Thankfully, everything is still fine. For the first 7 months or so- I really didn't have questions. Well.. I did, but it was always way to early to start worrying about things I would be going through on "the day." But for the last few visits I have a new question every time. That's about all I can handle remembering.. and then remembering the answer. Since I have "a day" already scheduled, last week's question was "What if he comes early?" This week I wanted to know about the epidural and if there would be any negatives in regard to the injection I had for my slipped disc last year, etc.
It feels like I can ask my doctor anything. And at every single appointment since the beginning he's asked if I have any questions- which is such a stark contrast to the doctor I had with Lily. (And one of my greatest fears of this baby coming early is that when I get to the hospital that other doctor will be the one on call. Because that's the luck I have.) He'll usually even tie in something from his personal life. We talked about our iPhones one week, his vegetarian wife at my appointment around Thanksgiving (when I told him I was as well), etc. It's nice. Makes me feel like he's a human being- and that he's aware I am too.
This week my doctor told me I should try to take naps- which I made sure to tell Jason when I got home. Naps are probably not going to be a reality for me since Lily never takes them outside of a few minutes here and there in the car- but a girl can dream, right? (Pun totally not intended.) Jason had a weird reaction. Like.. why should I be taking naps? "I don't know," I told him.. "maybe he noticed the enormous black circles under my eyes." Or maybe it's because I'm 8 months pregnant? Maybe it's both.
Thank God, thank God, knock on wood, that things like sleeping at night aren't really a problem for me this time around. Because I took precautions. Most of the time I sleep in another room from any snoring, on our marshmallow cloud of a couch, with a Boppy and whatever pillows I need. So then as long as the temperature is okay.. so am I. Because last time.. Oh, last time.. sleeping at night didn't go well. But of course, in the last few months, I had the luxury of being able to nap during the day.
I know each pregnancy is different.. but the last 8 months have really surprised me as to how true that is. Possibly because Lily was a girl and this one is a boy, but the "symptoms" with each one have been totally different. And there's nothing that happened with both of them. So far. Knock on wood.
Lily didn't move around much- and I always had heartbeat monitor out.. this baby moves nonstop. And has since at least month 4 or 5. I had carpal tunnel in both wrists with Lily.. this time, thank God, I missed that one. I was so nauseous the 1st trimester (and could barely eat) it was like she was trying to kill me, but this time I only felt a little sick if I didn't eat something before I went to sleep.
So.. I'm thinking since Lily has been a ham and a half since the day she was born and runs around like a fireball all day.. this little guy is going to be terribly serious and sit quietly on the couch with his hands folded. Ya right- Lily would never stand for that.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
This exhaustion is wearing me out
I really kind of want to quit. Where do I hand in my resignation? Can I do that? Can I walk off the job? Or even have a day off?
I'm tired of cats. I'm tired of no one listening to me. I'm tired of there being too much to do- and I'm tired of being too tired to do barely any of it. I'm tired of getting up and down 2 million times a day when to do it even once is hard enough. I'm tired of having lightning bolts of pain shooting down my pelvis, back, and leg.
I'm tired of there being no snow when it's January 11 already. A tissue paper layer of snow on the ground for a few hours in the morning every once in awhile isn't cutting it anymore. I want a good two inches of snow that sticks around for a few days.. and then I can shut up about it.
I'm tired of getting 6 hours of sleep a day if I'm lucky- when I really need about 8 or 9 now. And it makes me even more tired of it knowing that in another month or so I'll be lucky if I get 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm tired of Lily not taking naps anymore.. like for the last 6 months. Doesn't she know that I'm the one that really needs them now?
I'm tired of being tired. I can't wait until I can drink coffee again. Like.. an entire cup.. in an hour or so. Instead of little sips here and there. In a week or so. Now please excuse me while I try to find the silver lining in this day..
I'm tired of cats. I'm tired of no one listening to me. I'm tired of there being too much to do- and I'm tired of being too tired to do barely any of it. I'm tired of getting up and down 2 million times a day when to do it even once is hard enough. I'm tired of having lightning bolts of pain shooting down my pelvis, back, and leg.
I'm tired of there being no snow when it's January 11 already. A tissue paper layer of snow on the ground for a few hours in the morning every once in awhile isn't cutting it anymore. I want a good two inches of snow that sticks around for a few days.. and then I can shut up about it.
I'm tired of getting 6 hours of sleep a day if I'm lucky- when I really need about 8 or 9 now. And it makes me even more tired of it knowing that in another month or so I'll be lucky if I get 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm tired of Lily not taking naps anymore.. like for the last 6 months. Doesn't she know that I'm the one that really needs them now?
I'm tired of being tired. I can't wait until I can drink coffee again. Like.. an entire cup.. in an hour or so. Instead of little sips here and there. In a week or so. Now please excuse me while I try to find the silver lining in this day..
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
weather or not
It is apparently 26 degrees outside- which is the high for the day. But I haven't been brave enough to go out there yet, so I'm relying on The Weather Channel to tell me the truth. They are generally pretty good at that.
A few days ago, it was 43 degrees one afternoon when we took Lily outside. Well, I didn't know it was 43 when she first went out. It looked sunny so when I sent her out.. I thought her outerwear was fine- sweatshirt and sweater lined with fleece. Jason brought her back in for a hat and mittens. And that was fine. With me anyway.
When I came outside, Jason wouldn't stop complaining about how cold it was. About how cold Lily was. About how I needed to go back inside to get her gigantic winter jacket. It's not that cold I kept saying. And I asked her- she said she wasn't cold. Plus she was running around like a maniac. But he wouldn't let up. I checked the temperature.. 43. But, Jason was adamant that was a lie. I suggested he check the gauge in his car. He refused. Hmm.
I mentioned that perhaps he was the one that was under-dressed.. with his half shaved head, lightweight jacket, and pants he wears all year round. That idea was met with something along the lines of "whatever" and that I just wasn't cold because I'm pregnant.
After I told him Lily was fine (for the 8 millionth time) and that it wasn't that cold out.. he told me that when she gets sick I'm going to have to take care of her. Which was no kind of news flash.
Aren't mothers supposed to be the ones that are convinced their children are going to freeze to death if they aren't bundled up to the point of being unable to move? And fathers would just send kids out in a t-shirt and say "they'll be fine"..?
A few days ago, it was 43 degrees one afternoon when we took Lily outside. Well, I didn't know it was 43 when she first went out. It looked sunny so when I sent her out.. I thought her outerwear was fine- sweatshirt and sweater lined with fleece. Jason brought her back in for a hat and mittens. And that was fine. With me anyway.
When I came outside, Jason wouldn't stop complaining about how cold it was. About how cold Lily was. About how I needed to go back inside to get her gigantic winter jacket. It's not that cold I kept saying. And I asked her- she said she wasn't cold. Plus she was running around like a maniac. But he wouldn't let up. I checked the temperature.. 43. But, Jason was adamant that was a lie. I suggested he check the gauge in his car. He refused. Hmm.
I mentioned that perhaps he was the one that was under-dressed.. with his half shaved head, lightweight jacket, and pants he wears all year round. That idea was met with something along the lines of "whatever" and that I just wasn't cold because I'm pregnant.
After I told him Lily was fine (for the 8 millionth time) and that it wasn't that cold out.. he told me that when she gets sick I'm going to have to take care of her. Which was no kind of news flash.
Aren't mothers supposed to be the ones that are convinced their children are going to freeze to death if they aren't bundled up to the point of being unable to move? And fathers would just send kids out in a t-shirt and say "they'll be fine"..?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
happy stupid new year
Not much good came of my New Year's Eve. And not much good came of my New Year's Day. I don't want to say it can only get better, but God I hope it does.
I really didn't do anything much on New Year's Eve. I stayed home with Lily and we played Go Fish.. which she actually plays. So it's actually kind of fun for me. Not like Candyland, although she is getting better at taking turns- she still doesn't have much patience for it.. and neither do I.
I went grocery shopping. By myself. And even at 5 o'clock everyone had lost all ability to function normally.
Jason ordered Chinese food- but acted like he'd never heard of the "tradition." I picked it up on the way home from grocery shopping.. and stood crammed in a tiny lobby with 20-30 other people (for half an hour) waiting for their food. With even more waiting outside.
When I finally got home, I made my own Chinese food. We both agreed it was way better than what I had picked up from the restaurant.
(White rice from Chinese restaurant, can of baby corn, can of straw mushrooms, leftover uncooked green beans, and a packet of "beef and broccoli" sauce (which is just sauce used in making a Chinese beef and broccoli dish- it was vegetarian). Cooked the vegetables in a pan with some oil, then added sauce)
We were all up to see 2012. But there wasn't any celebrating. Just.. oh look.. it's 2012 now.
I went out by myself on New Year's Day. To buy new makeup, a wallet, and bag. Not because of any kind of good or fun reason- but because Lily got into my bag.. and destroyed everything. She just kept saying "I'm beautiful".. "I'm beautiful." I cleaned up everything as best I could. And cried.
I hate shopping. I hate shopping for bags and wallets especially. Nothing is ever what I need. They have to be exactly right or I'm not wasting my money. It takes forever to find anything that's even 90% right. I looked at three places before my poor self couldn't take it anymore. I bought a bag.. but I may return it. And no wallet. I'm carrying my things around in little zip-lock bags like a 6 year old. Not embarrassing at all to pull a little baggy out of my pocket instead of a having a wallet.
Whatever. I came home and looked online. And ordered this Keep You Posted wallet from modcloth.com..
Which is different. And interesting. Hopefully it will be just right. But if not.. they have free returns. If only I could say that about everything in life.
I really didn't do anything much on New Year's Eve. I stayed home with Lily and we played Go Fish.. which she actually plays. So it's actually kind of fun for me. Not like Candyland, although she is getting better at taking turns- she still doesn't have much patience for it.. and neither do I.
I went grocery shopping. By myself. And even at 5 o'clock everyone had lost all ability to function normally.
Jason ordered Chinese food- but acted like he'd never heard of the "tradition." I picked it up on the way home from grocery shopping.. and stood crammed in a tiny lobby with 20-30 other people (for half an hour) waiting for their food. With even more waiting outside.
When I finally got home, I made my own Chinese food. We both agreed it was way better than what I had picked up from the restaurant.
(White rice from Chinese restaurant, can of baby corn, can of straw mushrooms, leftover uncooked green beans, and a packet of "beef and broccoli" sauce (which is just sauce used in making a Chinese beef and broccoli dish- it was vegetarian). Cooked the vegetables in a pan with some oil, then added sauce)
We were all up to see 2012. But there wasn't any celebrating. Just.. oh look.. it's 2012 now.
I went out by myself on New Year's Day. To buy new makeup, a wallet, and bag. Not because of any kind of good or fun reason- but because Lily got into my bag.. and destroyed everything. She just kept saying "I'm beautiful".. "I'm beautiful." I cleaned up everything as best I could. And cried.
I hate shopping. I hate shopping for bags and wallets especially. Nothing is ever what I need. They have to be exactly right or I'm not wasting my money. It takes forever to find anything that's even 90% right. I looked at three places before my poor self couldn't take it anymore. I bought a bag.. but I may return it. And no wallet. I'm carrying my things around in little zip-lock bags like a 6 year old. Not embarrassing at all to pull a little baggy out of my pocket instead of a having a wallet.
Whatever. I came home and looked online. And ordered this Keep You Posted wallet from modcloth.com..
Which is different. And interesting. Hopefully it will be just right. But if not.. they have free returns. If only I could say that about everything in life.
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