How to make sure they remember you

Wanna hear a funny story about the dentist?

I thought that I could bring Noah to Lily's dentist appointment. (I'll wait while you stop laughing.)

I could leave it at that.. but I won't. Because, really it's so elaborate.

Noah fell asleep in the car on the way there. And I thought.. ohmygoodness.. what if he stays asleep? What if he just sleeps through the whole thing?!

I didn't really believe it, but then when he stayed asleep while I got him out of the car and snuggled up to me, completely out, in the waiting room.. I was so excited. He was going to sleep through the whole thing! It was going to be fantastic! And everyone would comment about it. And blah blah blah.

Funny.

The second Lily sat down in the exam chair and I sat down in the other chair... BANG awake. Totally awake and not happy about being in some crazy alien spaceship. Dentist's office I mean.

I tried to sit on the floor with him, but he wanted no part of that. Looking out the window was interesting. Nope, not anymore- that 2 seconds is over. Oh, a mirror! That person is interesting. Wait, it's me.. and mommy.. something else NOW. Didn't want to watch My Little Pony with Lily (yeah, that's right, tv in the dentist's chair). Didn't want the iPad. Didn't want the juice. But guess what he did want..

..to walk the length of the exam rooms back and forth. Causing us to accidentally eavesdrop on every other patient in the building. Lily's hygienist let Noah play with the office fish. Which was a stuffed fish with a full set of human teeth. And a toothbrush of course.

But Noah didn't really care. Until I started tickling him with it. And that was sort of interesting. But walking the hall was more interesting. And more interesting equals less screaming. So, on we walked. As I "sorry"ed and "excuse us"d every time he tried to check out what the other patients were doing.

One dentist at the end of the hall smiled and said hi to Noah every time we got up to him and his patient- and I thought, geez these people are pleasant.. and tolerant.

The hygienist would try to make a comment to me here and then (or I'd make one to Lily to let her know I was still there) as we'd zoom by, but essentially I missed her entire appointment. She just watched her My Little Pony, got her teeth cleaned, and fluorided.. and whatever else. And then it was over. Thankfully.

She got her new toothbrush (with dolphins on it) and toothpaste. Then she got to pick out her toy for being a good patient. No, seriously.. not a sticker.. or a 1 cent ring.. a full blown toy. Out of a treasure chest. And then just for good measure, a healthy juice box thing from the fridge. It's like Disneyland.

Like, if you had the all resources to create your ideal dental office and experience.. this place would still be better. I feel like I'm dreaming every time I go there.

And then we went to Target. Where BOTH of my children sat in a shopping cart. Just sat there like totally normal people. WITHOUT an iPad in front of their faces even! I almost said something to them. I really, really did.. like.. no, seriously, where are my children?

They slept on the way home. Both of them. And once there..

Lily fell back asleep and Noah had a snack. Then he ran around like a maniac. And puked all over the clean laundry I hadn't put away yet. Which I got all over me when I carried him to the bathroom.

The good news was he got his "bath" over with. The bad news was that when I went back to use the bathroom myself, he ripped his diaper off and peed on a blanket on the couch. I grabbed him, put a diaper back on him, and took away the blanket. As I was trying to put the puked on laundry in the wash, I went back to check on him.. only to see he'd ripped his diaper off again.. and peed on the couch again. And I hadn't even cleaned the puke out of the carpet yet.

He was 4 disasters in front of me. A metaphor for my life.

so far, i am an efficient sleeper

I can't believe it's over. Christmas. And only another 364 days or so until next time.

The toy store exploded in our living room as it tends to do this time of year. Almost everything that Lily opened was "just what I always wanted!" and Noah couldn't have cared any less about actually unwrapping anything. And he actually didn't even unwrap anything. Everyone else did it for him, including Lily- who had absolutely no patience for his lack of interest in opening his own presents. Can you imagine being 5 and related to someone that doesn't want to open their presents?!

Jason kept bringing home candy all week, baked a bunch of things full of sugar on Tuesday, and then gave me a fitbit for Christmas. So.. you know..

It's an interesting gadget. It tracks you. Your steps. Your sleep. If you go up a flight of stairs. It can keep track of other things as well.. if you input the information on your own. And it tells you how many calories you've probably burned etc.

According to the fitbit, I've taken over 14,000 steps since on put it on almost 48 hours ago. Semi-scary when you realize that's mostly around the house. (I did get up at 6am today to go to Target, but that another story for another day.)

But.. one of the most interesting things is that I get to see the stats on my sleep..

I've only used it one night, but even just the one night is scarily accurate. Twelve minutes to fall asleep, four and a half hours of sleeping, and, apparently, waking up constantly. I say "apparently", but honestly, I do already know that. It just looks for must worse in blue and red.

the parts of christmas i'm looking forward to

1. more Christmas music
2. the end of shopping season
3. wrapping presents
4. being done with wrapping presents
5. Lily and Noah's Christmas morning
6. a new Doctor Who on Christmas night
7. Target's December 26th clearance sales

i've been..

..knitting things a lot lately. It has to, mostly, do with Christmas. But also, you know.. winter. I made myself a pair of mittens. The first pair I've ever made in my life. And.. they came out pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

No, I didn't use a pattern. I just kind of thought.. okay, I know how to knit a hat (probably in my sleep too) and I get the idea behind socks, cables, etc.. so mittens are probably fairly easy.

They were.

I started with my double pointed needles and once I got past the (ribbed) cuff (and added enough extra stitches) I switched over to my circular needles. Until I got to the thumb, then I left those on a double-pointed needle until I finished the rest of the mitten. Of course, once I set aside the stitches for the thumb I had to switch back to the double-pointed needles, but.. I lived.

I made a few new things, as well as finally completed two unfinished projects. One had only been waiting since the beginning of the year, but the other was something I have worked on for the past 3 (4?) Christmases and just never finished.

Right now, I'm working on a hat. For myself. Because although I've made endless hats.. most of them have been for Lily. (I hate measuring anything out first.) It'd be nice if it was done before it gets cold again. Or it snows. Or Christmas. Or some kind of significance.