Pre Pre-School

I had to drop paperwork off at Lily's school and I thought, hey I'll bring her along so she can check it out too. Ahaahahah haha. Ha.

I talked to her about "the rules" of going to "SEE" the school.. for "a short visit".. "a VERY SHORT visit." I talked to her again. I made Jason talk to her. We tried to make her repeat the rules of what a very short visit entailed. I even bribed her with ice cream. Several times.

I talked to Jason about how I was going to DIE if she does what she usually does when you try to get her to do something she doesn't want to. That I would DIE. RIGHT THERE. I would walk out and just DIE right there on the pavement. And that would be the end of me. I swear to God..

As we got in the car, we talked about how SHORT the visit was going to be. Like, when we go to the post office to get the mail.. and then we leave. SHORT. We talked about it as we were getting out of the car.

And, of course, it started out so lovely. As these things do.

We went in. I dropped off the paperwork- and asked if Lily could check out the school. Sure sure, absolutely. The head teacher came over and told Lily to go ahead and play with the kids. In slow motion.. my brain was like noooooooooo. But it was too late. Alright, it's fine. It's fine, I thought.

Ahaha hahha. Ha. Are you new here?

She checkout out a play kitchen for a minute, and then sat down with a couple of kids on the floor. Okay, this is okay I was thinking. Then we moved on to another section. She played with some animals. Started playing with some boys. (SO not surprised.) Moved on, at the teachers suggestion, to a girl that had set up some dolls. Moved to some kids in a tent. Then to a boy playing with a castle. And finally to the other side of the room to a play tool bench.

It was all very cute and lovely. I tried to smile at the girls coming up around me- but other people's children make me nervous. One little blonde girl kept showing me the pictures she was drawing. And let me know that she knew how to whistle. The final blow to her, I think, was when I told her the picture was really nice and asked if it was a.... fish? No, it was a rainbow snail. Fail.

A few times during all this, I would crouch down next to Lily and whisper that we need to go in a minute, okay?

HAAA hahaha. ha. ha.

Finally, one of the other teachers heard me say that to her, came out of the area she was cleaning up and announced to the room that Lily was leaving and for them to say goodbye to her. Oooo. And they did. Lily looked a little surprised. Confused? And took my hand and walked with me back to the original area we came in through.

And then took off towards other toys. Sigh. I whispered to her again. And she did what she does when she doesn't want to do what you want her to do. In public. Sinking down to the floor and twisting away from you. Ohmygod. Ohmygod. I was starting to wish for death in my head. Starting to become mortified. First impression of my child. Not good. Not good. My child cannot behave. My child cannot listen to her parent. Nightmare. So nightmare.

She took off through a circle of kids. And I trailed behind her. The head teacher started talking about the swings outside- and that got Lily's interest. Thank you, thank you for showing her around I told them as I took off after my child.

And guess what? Pretty much the same thing happened outside. But, at least no one was there to witness my lack of ability to control/parent my child. Up close anyway. Until..

Of course the head teacher just happened to be on her way out. Of course. Because once outside, I was really thinking- oh good, here's the pavement.. I can just drop dead right here.

Eventually, I got her all the way over to the fence we came in through. But she still wouldn't go. Not because of my whispering. And non-whispering. Not with promise of "daddy" or "ice cream." Nothing. So..

I picked her up. By the waist. And she started crying. And crying. All the way to the car.

"I know," I told her. "I'm just as embarrassed as you are right now."

And she cried all the way home. And out of the car. And around the yard. And to the face of Jason and Noah when they came out to meet her, with a hopeful look towards me.

I just shook my head. No.