It's not that I haven't had anything to say in a week and a half.. I've just been in full on mommy mode. Getting used to two, instead of one, has been.. hmm.. Tiring. Exhausting. Challenging. And totally, totally..
Amazing. I admit I was scared. Off and on from the time I knew Noah was coming into our lives.. I was scared. Scared how our family would change. Scared for how Lily would feel. Scared for how I would feel. Scared how I would manage. But Noah is amazing. Even though I'm not resting even close to the amount I should be.. I mostly don't care. I've never been so tired. Even when Lily was born.. I think I eventually started to get more sleep than I do now. And I remember being able to take naps during the day.. when she would. Not so anymore.
Now my whole night is a series of naps. Two to two and half hour naps.. about three in a row if I'm lucky. I sleep when Noah sleeps. And I thank God that during the night Noah falls right back asleep after he eats.. just like his sister did. So it's just a matter of getting up, picking him up, stumbling to the kitchen together, stumbling back together, and then trying not to fall asleep while he eats. I don't even think about how tired I am anymore.. I just do it. Like a robot. Like a mommybot.
Jason took a lot of time off to be around when he's needed. But I still try to do as much as I can.. and manage both kids as much as I can.. I don't want it to be an enormous shock when he's not around as much in a few weeks.
We've left the house as a foursome twice already. And it hasn't actually been too bad. What I fear will be bad are the one adult against two kids outings. Especially when I'm the "one adult." But so far, Lily does seem to be a little calmer when we're out. Either that or we're getting a little better at keeping her calm. I feel like we know what we're doing a little better this time around (for Noah). And that only enhances life with Lily too.
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