NaBloPoMo

National Blog Posting Month. Every day. For all of November. I tried, and failed, last year. But this year.. I did it.

And now I'm going to going to take a week off. Just kidding.

Maybe.

Living with the unseen

How do I say this? For the past few years we are being increasingly convinced that there are "people" (?) living with us that we cannot see. If you know what I mean. I think you do..

Many incidents have happened. The living room sliding door rocking back and forth, kitchen cabinet swinging open, tv turning on with no one in the room, bathroom door closing by itself, etc.

And the newest one for me.. when I saw what I thought was Lily (her elbow or edge of clothing just disappearing out of view) walking out of the living room and down the hall. I called out to her several times, and when I got no answer I walked towards the living room to see she'd been sitting on the couch with a blanket the whole time (sick with a cold). That is really what did it for me.

As the other things had happened and I couldn't debunk them.. I knew something was.. I don't know.. "here" somehow, but the latest thing? It makes my stomach queasy.

I talked to Jason about it. And it came up again last night, as we talked about the plans for our newly empty room- that we both "hear things" coming out of there. Then he tells me, among other things, he thought he saw someone peek in on him while he was sleeping. I don't want to hear that. Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it.

So, I watched Ghost Hunters this morning. Which is only natural. When you don't want to think about something.. to watch a show about people actually seeking it out. And of course.. one of the things their client tells them is that the security guard in the library they are investigating saw someone peek out at her from the shelves of books as she was turning all the lights off. Oh God. So I keep watching.

Jason and Steve start talking about it as they are walking around in the pitch dark. About how they really don't want that happening while they are there.. because who wants to see that? Who wants "something" peeking out at them? Steve says that it's like everyone's nightmare fear to have happen- like in a horror movie. Awesome. Why don't you just take my purposely unspoken fear, right out of my head, and shiiiit.. you are a "professional" actually looking for ghosts.. and you are terrified of that?

Of course they end up getting footage of it happening while they are there. Because- of course they do. And show it over and over. So.. I'm all set. And also realized why our electric bill went up a little this month.

unChristmas

We put up our Christmas tree tonight.. which I feel was kind of.. I don't know.. ridiculous. But I guess it really isn't as Christmas is just under 4 weeks away. It just seemed ridiculous.

Jason actually wanted to put it up over the weekend, but it got delayed and delayed until tonight. When all of a sudden boxes were coming out of nowhere. And I found myself being tricked into putting on the lights. Then I added fake pine garland to make it look less Charlie Brownish. And then the wide wire ribbon because why the heck not. By the time we got to the ornaments.. I made Lily do it.

Excuse me. I should say we put together our Christmas tree tonight. I actually hate having a fake tree. Never once growing up did I have a fake tree- and it makes me so sad that Lily (and now Noah) doesn't get the real deal. I try to convince myself that maybe it's better than chopping down a tree that grew for years, just to have it in the house for a month.. but it's still not the same.

Now that I think about it.. maybe that's why I don't even like Christmas anymore. It's not Christmas unless it smells like Christmas. And how can it smell like Christmas without a real tree? So.. basically I hate Christmas, because it's not actually Christmas. Even though it is. Or will be. Hmm.

mime disease

We recently got a new dish rack. The same style, but made of some kind of metal instead of some type of wood. (The wood was molding or rotting.. or whatever it is that wood does when it gets wet a lot.. and is bad.)

I figured it would be the exact same thing and that it would be fine. But I'm slowly discovering things I don't like about it. Including that my dishes/bowls don't stand up in it- unless its a large dinner plate. So I've gone from being able to wash 30 or so items to 5-10. Etc. Anyway, it's a problem..

Today I thought of something that might fix it and I was explaining to Jason what I wanted him to do for me. (Yes, I could have done it myself, but I'm the one that washes all the dishes.. I shouldn't have to MacGyver the dish rack too.)

And he's standing there. Just staring at me as I explain. And nodding. Not nodding like he's agreeing, just as in he's sick and has lost his voice. So, I say..

There are a bunch of things I don't like about this dish rack. Blah blah blah..
(He nods.)
The cups are too big for the bottom part. The dishes can't stand up.
(He nods.)
I think the pieces on the ends need to be shorter to fix the problem.
(He nods.)
Why are you nodding at me?! You're turning into a mime.
He shrugs
You have mime disease. just like on Robot and Monster. Did you see that episode?
Shakes his head no.
Robot turns into a mime.. there's like 5 stages, the final one is when you turn into a mime. Go get some gloves and a little beret.
He shrugs. Then turns around to chug some medicine.


[When I looked up the episode online (Doctor? No!), it's actually called Robies.. a parody on rabies.)

Snooow!

It's going to snow tomorrow. Seriously. It's going to snow tomorrow! I'm not sure who's more excited- me or Lily.

Ultimately, I figure Lily is probably more excited.. because I actually have to go out in it. Which means cleaning off my car. Driving in the snow. Cleaning off my car again. And driving in the snow again.

And all she's going to have to do is wake up in time to play in it.

Noah

Noah made it through his first Thanksgiving. And seemed thoroughly confused as to why everyone was sitting around the table. (Me too.) Only a few more first holidays left. Sadly. Where did 9 months go?

This boy is about to have 5 teeth. Five. For months he had two and I was starting to wonder where all the rest were. Now I know. Getting ready for the three teeth at once sneak attack. The upside of all this teeth business is that he deals with it fairly well. Four or five teeth have broken through the gums so far and I've only used Baby Orajel on him once- and I don't know if he even truly wanted/needed it. He seems satisfied with binkys, chewing on everything, and drooling.

His crawling is out of control. He went from a kind of bunny hop crawl, to full blown crawling in about a week. Now he crawls about as fast as I can walk- and it's ridiculous. He creeps along on furniture and is even starting to climb up on things (and standing). My prediction is that he'll be walking by Christmas- so we'll see.

'Mama' is by far his favorite thing to say- mamamamama. He says it all day long- to call for me, when I'm not around (like he's looking for me), and when he's totally distraught and expecting me to remedy all that ails him. He knows who 'mama' is, but I also think he just likes saying it. I have convinced Jason that he occasionally says 'dada' as well.

He and Lily can finally play. A little bit. Sort of. Not nearly on the level she would like and I have to constantly remind her to be gentle, play nice, he's just a baby, stop being so rough, let him play with that, you need to share, give that back to him, he was playing with that first, can you let him play with something, ohmagoodness. Part of the problem is, I think, that most of his toys used to be her toys. So, it's hard to say "that's Noah's!" because.. it was only a few years ago that they were her toys.. and at only 4, she doesn't get that. To her, she thinks 'OH there are my toys- I was wondering what happened to those things.. what do you mean they aren't mine anymore?'

I assume it will only get worse.

The "lessons" I'm trying to work on with Lily, mostly in regard to Noah, are about sharing, not being mean, etc. I tell her that if she's going to be mean to him now that when he gets a little bigger, he's not going to want to play with her.. and that he's going to find another big sister.. one that isn't mean.. and that can play nicely. Also, that he's probably going to be bigger than her- and she should keep that in mind.

what we did this week

1. I ordered Lily new pants. Not because she really needed them, but because there were colors she didn't have. Which meant like.. if she wanted to dress in all blue, green, etc.. she couldn't. And then she'd have to move on to the next color. It was driving me nuts. One less thing to drive me nuts now.. since the new colors arrived this week.
2. I was cleaning the radiators in the recently empty room in our house. The cleaning of this room has been rather disgusting. The radiators made me want a hazmat suit, not just a mask.
3. Made a quick trip to Target Wednesday night- they were already preparing for the lines.
4. Lily's rendition of a fairy granting a wish for a sleeping kid. Her drawing skills always surprise me.
5. Lily and I (later joined by Noah) actually watched the Thanksgiving Day parade this year. I believe Spiderman was her favorite, although Pikachu was probably a close second.
6. Thanksgiving dinner. I thought this picture made it look way more fancy than it was. This was actually something smashed up for Noah.. but he wasn't interested.

Sick

I am sick. And I am sick of being sick. This is the third time I've gotten sick since Lily started school a few months ago. (Pre Lily going to school- I got sick 2 or 3 times.. a year. Maybe.) And Lily's been sick 4 times since September. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 14 years? Or is it just the first few years that are particularly rough?

I can deal with a few years of being sick every month. (I think.) As long as I know it gets better.

Now.. thankfully (so far. knock on wood. etc) it's all been fairly minor illnesses so far. But, I know that's not going to last long- soon she'll be infected with bubonic zombie flu syndrome and that will probably be the end of us.

It gets better right?

Right?

Sigh. It probably doesn't..

Thanksgiving (un)love

Several times this morning I proclaimed that I hated Thanksgiving. To thin air. And.. we weren't even hosting.

I went out early this morning. To buy.. what ended up being just wrapping paper and Cheerios. So.. totally worth it. Obviously.

Not much else happened until my mother-in-law brought up a frozen lasagna for us to cook. What can go wrong there? Oh nothing, except I lost one of the staples that was holding the foil top down. Ya, staples. It still hasn't been found. So someone is going to end up chomping down on it with a bite of lasagna or Noah is going to find it on the kitchen floor, and..

Then after cooking the lasagna per the package directions, Jason tested it and discovered it was ice cold in the middle.

"Why?" he pondered along with me. Probably because of the staple, I told him. We then got into a "discussion" about what "tenting" the foil on top means. Really? What the heck do you THINK it means?

But on the bright side, Lily actually ate some turkey.

Thankful for..

Being a vegetarian, Thanksgiving isn't really my favorite holiday (largely about eating a giant turkey- in modern day America), but it's always good to pause and give thanks for the good things in my life, like..

Lily and Noah. My amazing children- who constantly surprise and entertain me, all the while allowing the dark circles under my eyes to get a little darker every day (that part I'm not thankful for).

I really appreciate that even in my advanced age, my children can still teach me new lessons. Thanks kiddos..

.. Happy Thanksgiving

It's not the pants..

There are two different physical therapists that I've seen so far at the office I'm going to currently. One talks to me about the Olympics, my kids, the weather, and the martial arts she does. Sometimes just about the exercises. Sometimes we don't really say anything.

The other one.. has less of a filter than most people. And that's fine- I'm not easily offended. Which is good, because today..

You need some new pants, these are too big. (she tells me while pulling on the side of them near my hip.)
(laughing, I tell her) Ya, they're really not.
Ya they are!
These are new pants actually, my other ones were too big.
You got the wrong size then!
No, I really didn't.
Ya. You did- those are too big.
Not at the top..

And then we moved on. Because really, what can you say at that point?

There'll be days like these

The first sign that something's gone awry in your child's school day? You look right at them and don't realize it's them for a second, because they're wearing something other than what you put them in that morning.

Which is what happened to me for the first time today. Only Lily's shirt was different, but she was sort of crying. And it was explained she'd just been a mess of a sad kid that day.. including using her sleeves instead of tissues. Hence.. the "back up" shirt. (Well, I'd been meaning to update those clothes for more fall-like ones anyway.)

In the car, I told her it sounded like she'd had a bad morning.. and that I did too. I asked her if she wanted to hear about my bad day so that she'd feel better about hers. At first she said no, but then she followed it up by telling me I could tell her about mine anyway. Which I thought was nice. And actually, sort of beyond a 4 year old.

We thought we should just head home and eat ice cream, but the fact that I was pretty sure we didn't actually have any at home.. made us additionally sad.

Better luck for us tomorrow.

My 3 kids

This morning Jason was trying to do something. Complete some task. When 800 children (or 2) attempted to stop him.

Can't I just.. (blah blah) can't I just.. he was saying to me. I just starred at him. Oh, seriously.. welcome to my every moment in life.

You shouldn't of had 2 children then.
YOU shouldn't of had 2 children. (pause) You should of had three.
I feel like I do..

It was like 6:30 in the morning. I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep. What do you want from me?

what we did this week

1. I cleaned this ceiling fan this week. It was just the start of things being cleaned in the room that was my brother-in-law's. Yup.. WAS. He is fully and officially moved out. Now to just keep on with the cleaning. (And ohmagoodness is there so much clean.)
2. I am so sick of being up so early everyday. But on the plus side, the views are nice. Usually.
3. Last week, I talked about all the goodies I found on the Target website. Well, some of them live at my house now. Eeeeee.
4. Grasshopper on a brick step.
5. It was raining so hard on Monday.. it was almost sideways.
6. I went to another doctor this week. Ya, another one. And the exam room is always so photogenic. Also, I was bored waiting.

Leading cause of hoarseness among mothers

I feel like I didn't do much today. Except scream at my cold-ridden child. It started last night and carried into today. And in fact, continues on as I type this right now.

She jumped up and down on the couch. She jumped up and down on the floor. She tried to jump up and down on her brother. And not just run of the mill jumping.. nope, we're talking rumpelstiltskin-style stomping. (He got pretty upset when his name was guessed.)

She threw things, she dumped out boxes of toys, and had hysterical meltdowns when asked to pick them up. And asked and asked and asked and asked.

She shoved tiny spoons into Noah's mouth, threw blankets over his head, and knocked him over. And she picked him up. Twice. Do you know how many times I said "just because you're sick doesn't mean you don't have to listen to me"? Ya, I don' t either.

Threats were made regarding tv and video games and presents and Christmas and Santa Claus. Only one of the threats regarding Santa phased her. For like.. 5 minutes.

Then when I had had enough of her not listening to asking and asking and asking and asking and screaming and threatening.. she got "a punishment." No iPad. And ohmagoodness- like she wasn't already hysterical enough. She screeeeeeaammmmed at me. Screamed that she hated me. Screamed and screamed. And tried to bite me. Over and over. It was so awesome. Not really.

She used to just cuddle up with me and be extra quiet when she was sick.. and if this is the new sick behavior..? It's gonna be a long, long 14 years or so of school germs brought home.

In the continuing series of..

I've been feeling kind of like.. when don't I have a doctor's appointment (or physical therapy)? Today was no different. Because.. I had a doctor's appointment. With another new doctor.

And while she was lovely (and told me I was funny), she also diagnosed me with new things. Ailments that have actual names now. Great. Giving an official name to something makes it so much worse. She discovered things and named things that I didn't even realize were wrong with me. So that's.. awesome. (Not really.)

She also threw in the bonus diagnosis of me having a terrible diet when she was looking at my hands. (I know I do- I'm just in denial about it.) She told me I need to take vitamins. Which I do- usually. Really, I only remember because I put them in the same cabinet as Noah's bottles and Lily takes them too (It's fine, they're chewable kids (vegetarian) vitamins).

She was really good about describing everything (that was wrong with me- and why) and why one weird ailment can actually cause something else wrong. Then she prescribed me physical therapy. More of it. Different more of it. And suggested what we'd do if it wasn't working. Which would start off with a doctor's appointment. With yet another doctor.

Preschool is a contact sport

Just as I stepped into Lily's school and closed the door behind me this afternoon, I was treated to a little boy (C) tackling Lily. Regarding a book. She was already sitting on the floor "reading" so she didn't have far to go- just backwards. And also she didn't seem to care one bit.

I immediately opened my mouth to say something, but when I realized Lily hadn't reacted to it at all, I shut it just as quickly. Oddly enough, the teacher that had been standing in front of them, after semi-reprimanding C, did the same thing when she looked up at me. I think she thought I was going to freak out, having just seen my child get pounced on and hit the floor- and when I didn't..

What was there to say really? I've been told before that Lily and C "feed off each other".. and that they tend to try to keep them apart because this.

I also didn't want to undermine her teachers when she's at school. (Which is hard to do, when your first reaction.. is to react. To be the parent, autopilot style.) They are in charge when Lily's there and if I start adding my two cents in every time I see some little thing happen.. she's going to think they aren't in charge. And with my "free-spirited" child.. that's not going to go well.

Slow cooker greatness

I used our slow cooker for the first time today. With no guidelines, instruction manual, supervision, or recipe. So, clearly I set out for disaster.

But, it came out alright, I guess. Or really I could say it came out just how I wanted because I had no idea what it was supposed to be. Yes- it came out perfect!

I hadn't really thought of that when I texted Jason though..


I made some sort of soup/boiled food in the slow cooker. So there's that..

Ok great

Fine. Don't eat it then.

Wtf I wasn't being sarcastic

No one says "great" unless they're being sarcastic

I do.

Great.

On the playground

When I picked up Lily from school today, she hadn't finished eating her lunch yet. She was still sitting at the table, with her chair pushed back about a foot or two, and half of her sandwich sitting on the table in front of her. At first I thought she was in a timeout and I wasn't sure what was going on.

And who knows if that has anything to do with anything else.. but it's the first time that it's happened in the 2-plus months she's been going to school. I was even a little bit late picking her up, which happens sometimes. (Okay, more than sometimes.) So, I was surprised.

She said she was done, so I encouraged her to head off to the bathroom. And she did. When she came out and back over to me, she started talking about a boo boo she'd gotten. I said "what?" several times, as I was a little confused. Part of the confusion was because one of her teachers (an assistant?) was standing 3 or 4 feet away and didn't interject. At all.

The other part of the "confusion"? Lily was telling me that a girl had thrown a ball at her outside and then was laughing at her! And some point in between Lily had fallen. I think I said something like.. "what?!" And I don't even know what my face looked like, but it included some really, really widened eyes.

I was just about to ask her for more details (like, uh, what happened to the horrid brat that injured ma pwecious wittle munkin) when the teacher finally spoke up to say that Lily had tripped over a ball outside and that that was what my child was trying to tell me.

Hmm.

The two stories were sort of similar (both involving a ball and my child meeting the pavement harshly) and yet not similar enough. I had no idea if this teacher was even outside with them when it happened and I wasn't interested in arguing with anyone (because also, I'm pretty certain they already think I'm nutso) so I didn't say much in response. I believe my comment was "oh!".. like 'gosh, aren't children so silly and amusing.'

In the car and once we got home the story was more along the lines of Lily tripping over a ball (but I couldn't determine if it'd been thrown at her or not).. then someone ran over (in a ride-on toy) her arm!

So, I don't know. I think something happened TO her, not just 4 year old clumsiness/inattention, but I don't know what. And I'm never going to know, really. Because whichever teacher or teachers were out there probably didn't see the incident from start to finish.

But she told me she cried, that a teacher picked her up to hold her, and that she got a bandaid. So.. that.. at least that.

A day like yesterday

Yesterday was a day like.. there are a bunch of errands (outside the house) to be done and I'm home alone.. with 2 children under the age of 5. Who knows when Jason is going to be home.. so I just need to grit my teeth and try to get as much done as I can. With my children.

Yes, even I thought I'd lost my mind.

We went to the bank. And that was fine. Thank goodness for drive-thrus where children can remain strapped down. In their car seats I mean.

Then I needed to return something (and buy something else) at Old Navy. Which meant unstrapping wild children and walking into a mall. On a Saturday. And I could either park very far away and walk from the other end of the mall OR walk past an arcade/food court or walk past a bunch of ride on toys. And I started to realize these people's clever plan.. and hate them.

I chose to walk past the rides. BUT I cleverly used the stroller to block Lily's view while I pointed out a Christmas wreath in the window of a store on the opposite side. I won that round. But oh, she certainly won all the rest of the rounds on that visit. She had a small tantrum in the store because she didn't want to try on a jacket for next year because it wasn't red. She spotted the rides on the way out of the mall and I had to drag (yes, actually drag) her out. She was crazy in the parking lot, refused to get in the car, and I'm pretty sure there was screaming of some sort. Why is there always people around when the screaming happens?

She promised she would be good in the next store. And I believed her.

Target. I returned one thing and bought more formula for Noah. She was okay for the most part in the store, riding in the large part of the carriage. Yes, I'm one of those parents. But I don't let her stand up- she has to sit down at all times.. on her butt, not her feet. She leaped out about 7 or 8 months ago when I was paying and Jason next to her but not watching. Etc. (Another story for another day.) So now I have to tell her about 25 times a trip to sit on her butt, not her feet. It's awesome. Not really.

She started acting up on the way out because she wanted pizza. And she saw they had pizza. But I told her no. She started yelling as we went through the doors. With no other arsenal in my bag of tricks, someone must have been looking out for me from above. Just as we got outside, a police car drove by slowly- and I told Lily they were looking for the little girl that was screaming, so she better be quiet before they think it was her. And she was. Miraculously.

I put everything in the car except my children and we walked the cart to the nearby cart receptacle.  Then Lily wouldn't get out and there were feet and arms everywhere. When I finally did get her out she didn't want to stay still, and not run over, while I got Noah out. Then when all that was done and we somehow hobbled to the car, she didn't want to get in. Familiar? Except this time she was actually laying on the pavement. I can't even..

I can't remember how I got all of us in the car. Probably threatened to just go home and not on to anymore stores. Which.. I don't know.

The last stop was actually the one I was most afraid of. And after the middle two stops, I really must have been an idiot to try what I assumed would be the final and most difficult stop of the day my life. I tried to prepare myself and Lily. And when we got off the highway.. and she saw the McDonalds.. that was it. THAT was her motivation. And I took it. Even though.. I don't care for fast food.. especially for my children. But sometimes.. as a mother, we have to take things like this.. and just.. deal with it. For our own sanity and the sake of eating other meals with food bought at that grocery store we really need to get to.

And she was good. She was really good. Sat in the grocery cart the entire time, just playing around with items that I was stacking around her. Sat there quietly while I paid. It was craziness. Noah was actually the only problem the whole time.. started crying as I was checking out. But I just replaced the binky that he'd taken out of his mouth himself, and everything was right with the world again.

Then we went to McDonald's. Because I kind of had to. And although she changed her mind 10 times about whether she wanted a cheeseburger or chicken- it was fine. Until she got home and got upset all over again because she had wanted chicken not a cheeseburger. Ohmagoodness kid.

what we did this week

1. Just studying nature on the way to get the mail.
2. A drawing of Lily's nightmare. Which is not at all what she called it, but after she told me the whole story.. I don't know what else you'd call it. She didn't seem bothered by it.. which.. kind of bothered me. Because.. it was pretty awful.. especially for a 4 year old. Unless.. she's just really aware that it's not real.. and therefore isn't something that she should be scared of? Ya, that actually sounds a lot more like her. (Relief sigh.)
3. I voted on Tuesday. But, I mean..
4. Just as the nor'easter was set to arrive..
5. Oh, like a week or so after Halloween Jason and Lily carved one of the little pumpkins we had. But you think we actually had any (real) candles to stick in it? Heck no- we have 2 little kids.. and also we are beyond paranoid about fires. So.. Lily's clever mother (me! it was me!) thought to use a birthday candle. And it worked perfectly.
6. It was a little windy here this week. And I totally did not take this picture while I was driving. (I was stopped at a red light.)

Morning denistry

After 5 hours of sleep, I went to the dentist this morning. At like.. 8:30? Who the heck invented such early dentist appointments? And do you know that they actually have them even earlier than that? Craziness.

It was only my second visit to this particular dentist- the first was for a "consultation." During the consultation they took some xrays (did you know that some dentists don't use film anymore? they have a device that is shaped the same as those little film pieces that go in your mouth, but they just move it around and take multiple pictures. and it pops right up on a screen behind your head!), they took some picture of my teeth (with a pen-looking device. actual pictures of the top of my teeth, so I could see what they were seeing), and measured the depth of my cavities with another pen-like device. There was also a tv on the ceiling. Craziness.

But back to today. I took my jacket off and sat down in the chair- just as I started to feel cold, the assistant immediately offered me a blanket. A blanket! And obviously I took her up on the offer. I snuggled up, watched some Today Show on the ceiling, and waited for the dentist.

My mouth has started to turn against me in my old age and suddenly I have 200 cavities every time I visit the dentist. Also, I've had bad experiences the last two times I had cavities fixed. I won't elaborate, but I now have a paralyzing fear of cavity repair. Hence, trying out a new dentist.. that turns out to offer.. wait for it.. air abrasion!

I had never heard of such a thing before the initial consultation. Since a few cavities were so shallow, they weren't forced to drill. And now that I've had 4 cavities taken care of with it.. it was not so bad.  No drill, no Novocaine.. I barely felt anything.. just a little bit of the sand shooting onto my tongue occasionally.

I still have to go back for 2 more cavities (and 1 broken filling redone) with Novocaine, drilling, and all kinds of advanced dentistry to help me not freak the F out, but.. at least it's not 7. Yet..

Here I go again

I started going to physical therapy again. Which.. I don't know if that's something people do? Go to physical therapy, "graduate" (as they put it), and then end up going back again a few months later. I like to be different.

It's a really good thing I wasn't a jerk when I left, because I'm going to the same place. For.. another symptom related to the same cause. I think. My doctor didn't actually see me after the new symptom started. I just called (kind of freaking out). And he (ya right, it was a nurse) called me back (the next day) to tell me to get my butt back in physical therapy. So.. I did.

The physical therapy office was surprised to see me. I told them the joke was on them for trying to get rid of me so easily. I sort of said that. I said it nicer. Sort of.

Aaannd.. I don't know. It's alright- not as difficult as it was the first time. Some of the same exercises, some new ones. Like.. watching myself walk in a mirror to make sure I'm doing it right. And unless walking correctly is the only thing I'm thinking about (actually saying it to myself sometimes) then I just limp. It's.. weird.

Weird like, if someone told me they weren't able to to do what I'm not able to do.. I'd think they were a big. fat. liar.

And I wouldn't understand. And I'd probably say 'what's you're problem just DO it.'

Actually, I do say that. To myself.

Choleric child

Lily didn't go to school today. Not because she's sick, or was sick, or is getting sick. Not because I'm sick or Jason or Noah. We're all okay (knock on wood). Not because of the weather (although that wind really is starting to pick up now).

Apparently she didn't go because she didn't want to go to the bathroom and (according to Jason) was tired.* So she pitched fits, refused to be moved, and wasn't spurred to action by any threats I made (and oh, believe me, I made them). Basically she decided she wasn't going to school.. and she didn't. She's 4.

I'm so angry that she got away with that. And angry at myself. I made a lot of threats that I didn't follow through with, including that if she didn't use the bathroom and get dressed that I was taking her to school in her pajamas and she could just pee her pants. (Her pajamas were basically regular clothes.. and I'm sure she wouldn't have wet herself at school.. she would have used the toilet eventually. So don't think I'm that mean.) But, she just screamed "NO!" at me- or something, who can remember, she screamed so many things at me this morning.. including that she hated me.

(She actually didn't go to the bathroom until about 2:00. And only because I threatened to throw the muffins she wanted out the window and run them over. She screamed at me some more. But she went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and peed. Seriously, the threat of running over muffins is what got her? I wish I had known that at 7am.. woulda saved me a lot of trouble.)

Soo.. she's not using her iPad today. And she's not playing video games. Not even when daddy gets home. Of course, when she eventually realized I was serious, that didn't go over too well. And there was more yelling. At me. And crying.

And she didn't even care when I told her that it was WAY more of a punishment for me than it was for her. She just yelled over me. And stood on her head while she did it.

That's true anger.


[* Yes, of course, I very calmly made sure there wasn't something going on at school that was making her not want to go. And THEN she got in trouble for her behavior.]

I voted

I voted today. And it was amazing, just as it always is. I don't know why.. but it is. My vote is just one vote, but so is everyone else's.

I thought about voting this morning.. at like 7am. But I just couldn't bring myself to get up at 6:30am in order to cast my vote (Noah's been killing me with his constant wakings lately- like every 70-80 minutes).

Then I was just going to wait until Jason got home from work. But what if he was late?! I couldn't take the chance. So after Noah had an unexpected nap, Lily, Noah, and I went to vote.

And it actually went alright. Actually, if I'm being honest, it went more than alright. I strapped Noah to my body, had a death grip on Lily's hand- and off we went. She was good. She was really good. Noah was fine. He didn't care. Lily held the enormous voting card, I connected the arrows, she got an "I voted" sticker, and it was over before it had hardly begun.

She attached the "I voted" sticker to my hand. I asked her if she knew what it said- "no." "It says I voted," I told her.
Awesome.
Ya. It is.

Then we went to Target. And our cashier just happened to have an "I voted" sticker on her hand.

ohmaTarget

While searching on the Target website for the St. Jude's Bullseye dog.. I made unbelievable discoveries. Like, uh, Bullseye stickers! A thousand of them! Who in the heck knows what I'd do with them, but.. Bullseye stickers! I love Target.

Theeeen that led to more and more and more. Basically like "secret" employee merchandise I guess. And the piece(s) de resistance..

People my age probably can't get away with such nonsense. Unless of course they are mommys. (I win.) If you are a Target nerd, like myself, whatever you do- don't do a search for 'company store' on their website. Now off to melt my Target card..

Things to do when Daylight Saving Time ends

I think one of the best gifts for a mom is.. when Daylight Saving Time ends. Seriously.

I'm pretty sure every mom on the planet has wished for extra hours in the day (and sometimes a few less hours when the power goes out) at least once nine thousand times in her life.

And don't think I didn't return the favor, I did. (Honestly, I think it was completely unrelated to the getting 7 hours of sleep instead of 6, but whatever..) I swept AND washed the bathroom floor (after duct taping down the edges around the missing section of flooring. Oh ya. Really.). I also did 2 loads of laundry, washed a sink full of dishes and baby bottles, and cleaned both the kitchen and bathroom sinks/counters.

I also did the minor task of watching two small people for half the day while Jason went out to buy a cell phone he didn't buy and went Christmas shopping after we'd had a "conversation" about stuff we shouldn't be buying. Oh ya. Really.

what we did this week

1-2. Waiting for Hurricane Sandy.
3. It rained a little. It was windy. A few trees lost medium size branches. And we lost power for 25 hours. Oh ya.. you better believe I kept track of it.
4. Thanks to the hurricane I had to trash everything that was in the fridge. It took hours to throw it all out and clean the entire thing from top to bottom. On the up side.. it looks better than the day it was born. Seriously.
5. Halloween pumpkins courtesy of Lily.
6. The amount of candy this kid got was unreal. This is just what she got from school. Multiple that by about 3.5 and that was the total haul. I think we're all set for the next 12 months.

Field trip number one

Lily went on her first field trip last month. And I didn't go. Her teachers already had enough parent volunteers by the time I got around to expressing interest. Aaand they kind of definitely didn't want me to go anyway. Because, as they put it, they don't really want the parents going on their child's first trip.

I had sent an email to the school offering to go, expressing my concern about Lily going on an excursion without one of her parents (the people that know her clever ways best), etc. The response I got was- "we'll talk to you when you drop her off." Great.

Do you know how many times I heard "she'll be fine!"? About 15. Lily's teacher just kept saying it and saying it. While I was feebly trying to explain Lily's tendency to try do her own thing (which they should know about by now anyway). In other words, taking off.

She'll be fine, she'll be fine, she'll be fine, there's x amount of adults going, and blah blah blah. THEN she turns to the mom behind me dropping off her child- and in not so many words, tells her I'm an over-protective nutcase that's flipping out about my child going on a field trip. They chuckled together. While I just stood there. "She'll be fine," the other mother says. "Blah blah blah, I run a daycare- and I'll be going." Pff, so what? Who the heck are you? I smiled weakly- kinda feeling like I was in the twilight zone.

So.. obviously (first sentence).. she went. And I felt sick. And refused to think about it at all while she was there. For fear.. that maybe I would follow the bus.. show up and spy from the parking lot.

Good thing I didn't. Because how much would I have freaked the f-ing heck out when they never showed up where they were supposed to be? They went bowling instead. And never let me know. In some ways I can understand why they didn't call parents (what if they got to one parent that said no? after all the others said ok? then they'd have to call them all back again and say never mind). But at the same time I didn't really like that for a couple of hours I didn't actually know where my child was. I thought I knew where she was.. but she wasn't actually there. I didn't care for that.

BUT.. she was so excited to have ridden a bus. She was so excited to have gone bowling. And she was returned to me safe and sound. So.. that's all that really matters. (Right?)

Life with Sandy

Days before Hurricane Sandy arrived my husband was.. being.. his usual overreacting, over preparing self. And I was mostly blase about it- just boiled extra filtered water for Noah's bottles assuming the electricity would probably go out at some point (electric stove) and made sure all the laundry was done.

Jason wanted me to buy bottled water- I bought 2 gallons and a 6-pack of SmartWater because it was on sale. He wasn't happy- he went out and got another 3 gallons and a 24-pack of single serve bottles. Because Armageddon.

He wanted me to buy cans of soup and pasta (gross) and vegetables and I don't even know what else. So I did. When he went to work on Monday he texted me freaked out messages.. Fill up the bathtub with water. No, wait, don't fill up the bathtub because Lily might drown. Fill up a giant plastic storage bin instead. And put that in the bathtub. You know when the power goes out you can still flush the toilet right? But just in case. Because xyz. Whatever.

Do you think I should get more water on the way home? Is there anything else we need? Blah blah Armageddon much? Don't open the windows because the pressure will blow the roof off. I think he was kidding, but I'm not sure.

Once he was home, I caught him several times trying to clean out the kitchen sink so he could plug the drain and fill it up with water. Just in case. I told him to hurry up and take a shower before the power went out.. and make his (hot) lunch before the power went out.

It was a little windy. There was a little bit of rain. And poof- out went the power at 4:30pm.

I finished up the bottles I was washing, grabbed a few things out of the fridge (milk, juice, cheese, hot dogs, yogurt, ketchup) then shoved them in the freezer, and gave Noah a bath with some of the remaining warm water.

Meanwhile, Jason went crazy making sure all the flashlights had batteries. They did. I thought at one point he was actually changing out working batteries with fresh-out-of-the-package batteries, but I don't know. He even went so far as to make a flashlight. Yes, he MADE a flashlight. Out of broken flashlight parts and a Pringles can. And gave it to his brother, because he was afraid he was going to burn the house down (candles). But I also think he wanted to show off that he made a flashlight out of a Pringles can.

We ate cheese, bread and butter, pickles, and frozen yogurt for dinner.. whatever probably wouldn't make it through the outage. Lily played with her PlayDoh, Noah took a long nap. By the end of the night Lily, Noah, and I were just together sitting on the couch. Lily was playing a game on her iPad, Noah was sitting on my lap watching Oswald on Jason's iPad, and I had my headphones on, watching a movie on my laptop. Jason walked by and told us we were a bunch of nerds. He is a Master Nerd, himself, so I just laughed and asked him what he expected to see instead.

Then we went to bed.

Then we woke up.

And the power still was out.

So I trashed everything in the fridge. Miserably. And cleaned the f-ing heck out of it. It took hours. Hours. And now? Looks like the day it was born. Seriously. It looks so nice- the first person the spills something and doesn't wipe it up immediately is never going to be heard from again. Possibly.

My children actually did fairly well without the power- Lily had her iPad afterall- but by the end of it all I wasn't doing so good. Thank goodness for phones with internet access is all I'm saying.

And then around 5:30pm (after 25 hours. TWENTY-FIVE), poof- on went the lights. And I watched more tv than I could handle and used more than my share of the internet. Because I could. And I was so f-ing grateful for electricity. Honestly.